Jellied Brains, anyone?

Good grief, my brain is slow.  I’ve been gently gearing up for my first proper day back for a few days now.  But I might as well not have bothered.  I have a jelly brain.  This afternoon, my brain has been reacting about 5 minutes after being given the information to process.   It’s not lack of coffee, I think it’s lack of use.  It has taken (as I think I said elsewhere) a while to wind down, and it seems to be taking an equal while to wind back up again.  

My Training Incumbent has reminded me that I am now over half way through curacy, and that it won’t be long before I am holding a lot more than I do at the moment.  He’s quite right.  But if it takes me three days to put down and three days to pick up the tasks of a ‘not responsible for anything’ curate (alternatively an ‘irresponsible’ curate, if you prefer), how long will it take me as an Incumbent?  At this rate, I stand a chance of being properly relaxed for about three days out of a fortnight’s holiday.  That  is not long enough for me, my family or my sanity.

So one of the tasks we didn’t talk about this morning, but which I need to take seriously, is self-care.  Of ensuring I am sharp enough to do the things that are required, but laid back enough to be able to unwind fast.  To navigate this odd life that is ministry without getting stuck in the gaps or banging my head, but while still noticing the shape of the fern leaves and the tendrils of ivy. To notice and remove the litter, but without sinking in the mud as I pause.  

I need to weave this life of being and doing, with care.  Care for others, but care for me as well.  


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