Walking and knickers

Some topics naturally fit together.  All will become clear…..

I went for a walk today.  Regular perusers of this particular repository of random thoughts will know that the correct response is not “really, Claire, where did you go?” but rather, “Really Claire?  What happened this time?”  Newcomers might like to try this as an example of what has happened in the past….
So today, I was
1.  Asked if I would mind being bait for two terriers who were finding the undergrowth more interesting than the calls of their mistress.  (For the record, they ignored me as heartily as they ignored her.)
2.  Addressed as “my dear chap” by an approaching elderly gentleman cyclist, and told to look out for the rain coming from the south. 
3.  Held in some measure of contempt by the lady driving the Nissan Micra along the bridleway under the instruction of her SatNav, for my belief that my OS map might be more accurate.  However, we were able to agree that there was no sign of the house she sought, and I didn’t laugh as she used the very wide bridleway and convenient gate to perform a seventeen point turn.
4.  Briefly mis-located as I missed the dog sized hole in the hedge which led to the path I actually wanted.  (This did get rectified within about thirty yards, my navigation is not that bad.

It was when I crossed the road and got to the open field that I made my first bad decision.  Here’s the view.  Note the wonderful open aspect, the rolling countryside, and the bloody enormous black cloud.  When I saw the cloud, I got out my waterproof jacket, and put it on, and checked the map so I wouldn’t have to get it out in the rain.  What I failed to do was to put on the waterproof overtrousers I’d slung into my rucksack just in case.  Within 20 seconds, I was deeply regretting not putting them on as rain, unimpeded by any obstacle at all, lashed into my left flank at 45 degrees.  Within a further 10 seconds, I realised it was now completely pointless putting the overtrousers on, as I was wet through from the hem of my jacket to the top of my boots.  I gritted my teeth, reminded myself of how stupid I can be and strode on.  For three quarters of a mile of open hill top.  The water seeped down into my boots, and managed to wick its way up as well.  In spite of the sunshine which followed, I arrived back at the car with trousers soaked from waistband to ankle.  The car park was deserted, there wasn’t a soul in sight, I knew I could make it safely back into my house from the car, and I didn’t want to spend half an hour driving home in soaked trousers.  So I made my second bad decision, to remove the aforementioned trousers.  

The rest, dear reader, is history.  A helicopter appeared overhead (really!), a car pulled into the car park…..oh, knickers!


12 responses to “Walking and knickers

  1. and yet, counting it all joy, eh! lol At some point in the future it ounds like this could well be a future sermon illustration for you!

    Peace, blessings and jellybeans!!

  2. I know that the News of the World is no more, but this would have been the perfect headline for them……

    Off course, the option is to buy the type of clothing that keeps you cool or warm and repels water and wind. Crag Hoppers is one brand or Gelert. Lightweight, quick drying, suitable for all occasions.

    Other brands are available 🙂

    You have my sympathy though, I've been soaked through to the skin in the Cairngorns, The Brecon Beacons, the South Downs, Exmoor, Dartmoor and to many other places that I care to think about. That was in the days before they sorted army kit out and modernised to use the latest clothing technology.

  3. What a day!
    It really is so easy to make the wrong decision isn't it?
    You didn't mention which TV programme you're appearing in.

    I can only hope your ahem undergarments were in better nick than the ones in my post of last week.

  4. All the branding in the world won't help if I haven't got the wit to put the wretched things on!
    Yes, I did consider those who endure such soakings regularly – at least i could get a hot shower.

  5. Knowing my luck, “The Truman Show”! At least it can't be “An Island Parish”. And the Vicar of Dibley has been done already 🙂

    Luckily all was in order – but there is a whole other blog post about what happened next – if only I were brave enough. And I'm not!

  6. oh Claire, do tell!!!! I am giggling madly here at the computer now, you are a scream! Hope it all ended well and you made it into the house safely, K

  7. Oh Claire! So good I read it out loud to the family. Hope you don't mind.

    Son did DofE on Sunday and says you're a wimp… he did 6 hours utterly wet through, AND sat in the minibus back from the New Forest! Mind you, HE kept his clothes on!

  8. Son is quite right but he's about a third of my age, so I'm not wasting any time worrying about comparative wimpiness! Glad you enjoyed post

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