The amount of change over the last three years of my life, that is. I’ve been doing some looking back and looking forward this afternoon, and the scale of change is remarkable. Yesterday I had a house full of people, who (with one exception) I had never even heard of three years ago – but they are now some very dear friends. My family has grown up a lot, we are living far from ‘home’, and I spend my working life wandering about wearing a clerical collar (because I am a priest, not because I like wearing dog collars!). My working hours don’t bear thinking about compared with three years ago, my commute involves a flight of stairs (and a lot of miles too), my working conditions on a cold Sunday morning are well outside Health and Safety guidelines. I am privileged to share moments in the lives of some utterly amazing people, at their happiest and saddest times. My world looks rather different from how it did three years ago.
I put my collar on this afternoon for the first time since last Sunday, and was struck by the fact that it no longer feels unfamiliar after a few days’ break. I met up with a long standing friend earlier in the week, and asked if she thought I have changed. “Not noticeably”, she replied, and I was heartened. Heartened because I think the only difference between the me of three years ago and the me of now is that I am becoming ever more myself. What is “changing” is more of an uncovering of that which was already there – although some bits once uncovered are flourishing rather more than I could ever have dreamed (watch me with a toddler now – no resemblance to those awful days when I was a “creche mum” of necessity).
I have occasionally made some horrible mistakes, don’t think that I haven’t. But I think they have all been rectified or at least apologised for – and the person who never makes mistakes doesn’t do anything! (If you think I owe you an apology feel free to let me know).
Even this blog has changed. It started life three years ago on Blogger as a way of letting the folks back home know what I was up too. It has wandered rather far from that, as I have used it as a space to think aloud, to reflect on who and how I am…but it seems to have found a faithful few readers who talk back to me (thanks all). It is more of a place for conversation over a coffee or glass than a letter home these days (especially since I migrated to WordPress and found a cheery header photo).
So the point of this post? Well, other than “thanks for reading this” there isn’t one, except to be a reflection that gives thanks for all that has been, all that is, and prays for whatever is to come…..