Reading Abram’s call, and then Maggi Dawn’s commentary on it has reminded me of lots of things this morning, and sparked some connections. It’s been a while since I’ve sat and thought about my own vocation. I’ve been more involved in the nitty gritty of “where?” over the past year than in the “what?”, “why?” or even “who, me?”
But those questions still lurk. I’m still waiting for someone to say “you’re a WHAT?” and fall about laughing. I occasionally still wonder “why?”, usually in the places where ministry and family crunch hard together and I am caught in the unforgiving middle. And then I catch the joy, the blissful times, when “who, ME?” bubbles up delightedly. They are all the same hopes, dreams, and fears as they were in 2001-2 when this oddest of progressions began. And it began, not with a blinding light, but with a nudge so gentle I can’t remember it. it was only as the nudges began to accumulate that I started to get uncomfortable with where I was. The metaphor of “journey” is horribly cliched, and yet it is so often used because it is right.
Abram’s journey, as Maggi points out, is not straightforward. It stops and then restarts. He isn’t undertaking it in isolation, but with a whole extended family – first as a “hanger on” with Dad Terah, then as an instigator with nephew Lot. And it is just one part of the wider vocational journey of the Israelites. Vocation isn’t just about ordination, it’s about finding out who God wants us to be, and growing into the people we are called to be. Today has reminded me, that no matter how bound up I have been recently with “place”, there is so much more to my calling. It remains exciting, worrying, frightening, joyful. It remains a vocation with questions which are yet to be answered. Please God, let it always be so.