I ate lunch, decided I’d better get walking, put on coat and scarf, popped gloves in pocket, rammed hat over my ears, shoved feet into wellies, started Runkeeper and set off. The phone went into the pocket, the gloves came out….
….and went away again, much to the amusement of the dog walker who watched me trying to put them on as I walked. Apparently the same thing happened to him yesterday.
Anyway, I did the dog-walkers’ yomp round the back of the castle. It was beautifully muddy and icy, although on the track that curves round the base of the hill out of the sun, the muddy looking mud was actually rock solid. The ice was rather lovely too.
Pace 22:11 mins/mile. Not surprised it was slow – off road, wellies with no orthotics, no walking poles, and an ankle which is developing a new and interesting way to test my pain control abilities. The rest of this post may be about pain, but it isn’t intended as a whinge.
Anyone who has a lifelong condition which causes pain learns some basic pain control measures at an early age. It’s necessary, because it is hard to explain pain when you are little. So in my case, I learned to walk differently, learned to avoid some movements, learned when to strap my foot (I was pretty good at that by the age of six), when to let it loose, and learned when to stop and when to grit teeth and keep going. Although I had a couple of operations as a child, a doctor first gave me painkillers at the age of 13. They were a revelation…until I discovered that to get the same effect, you had to increase the dose. It seemed like a bad idea, so I stuck with my own forms of pain control instead. Even now, except in the more dire cases of banging it, I mostly avoid pills. Yesterday my ankle reintroduced me to a form of pain I haven’t experienced since an operation in 1991, so I am rather hoping the blood vessels aren’t regrowing in that particular formation again (my left leg below the knee is basically a bunch of tiny out of control veins which grow in interesting and unusual ways – a haemangioma, not a birthmark, three dimensional and under the skin). The trouble with pain is it’s hard to communicate how it feels, and equally hard to explain coping mechanisms. If anyone has found good language for it, please post me a link!