Today’s #Cycling #Lessons

  1. When a good friend points out that it’s always better to get on your bike than not, remember that the rules of cycling are like Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. Sometimes you need a special theory for the exceptions.
  2. When you calculate that your bike will need a service in about six weeks time, book the service. Don’t keep riding your bike because, dear reader, at week seven, something will go wrong.
  3. When a cycling prophet points out your bike needs oil, I can confirm that your bike doesn’t know or care that the online order has been placed, and the requisite bits will not accept that oil will happen “soon”. Instead, when a cycling prophet tells you your bike needs oil, stop riding your bike until you have appeased its needs.
  4. If a local friend challenges you to ride your bike up Butt Hill, beware.
  5. When someone is kind enough to offer help, accept it with both hands and learn. A session from a kind person a few weeks back meant I wasn’t scared of moving the derailleur.
  6. Some cyclists believe that turning your bike upside down is a cardinal sin. However, until you have a fully functioning spare set of arms, turning your bike upside down is fine by me. I’m sure there’s a knack to cranking pedals and shifting gears at the same time, but I’ve not found it.
  7. If your chain should happen to get stuck between the inner ring of the front cog and the bike frame (yes, I do know that’s not how to describe it, but I know what I mean and these are my rules) then engineering wisdom and a bit of brute force will get the bugger out again.
  8. Fairy liquid will get oil off a cycling jacket. Put it on a rinse cycle afterwards (thanks Mum c1980)
  9. If you have a large butt (and I do), then don’t have your chain malfunction at the bottom of a hill called Butt Hill opposite a pub. Even if no-one is actually pointing and laughing, you will feel as if they are (including the cars driving past).
  10. Carry thin gloves to protect your hands from oil (there was a surprisingly profligate amount of the stuff for a bike in dire need)
  11. It’s ok to fix the problem and turn round and go home. There is always another day, and Butt Hill will wait.

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